No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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