i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
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hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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