found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
