I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
