I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
