Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...