so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize