I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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