Cold hands, warm shart.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
love makes seman taste better
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
