That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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