Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think your dad took our porno
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
