Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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