His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
