Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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