Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize