Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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