Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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