There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding