I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs