I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse