You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.