I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize