I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
