The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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