these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
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we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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