shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
