i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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