I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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