Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
