I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
