'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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