I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He has the fingertips of a God
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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