Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
