So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
