If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
