I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
