i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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