What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
