By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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