She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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