why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
