we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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