My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
