Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
