If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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