Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
