So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
