I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize