508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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