I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish you could order shots online.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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