I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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