so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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