either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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