Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
