They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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