Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
