Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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