I heard we made out
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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