It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am mentally ready for anal.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
