I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Pooping to opera.
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